Finding your mate
by gracelions
Summary: Yuuri went to the Sochi Final while he was injured planning on taking a break after it was done only to getting grieving news from Hasetsu. Losing his family was hard with only his beloved poodle and friends to help him through it. Omega Yuuri. Alpha Victor. Mpreg. Warning there will be eating disorder, depression, anxiety and panic attacks!
1. Chapter 1

Yuuri Katsuki was ecstatic. His hard work finally paid off. He worked his ass off since he was a little kid to be able to come to a Grand Prix as a contestant. His dream of being able to skate on the same ice as his idol was finally here. He felt his anxiety creeping up so he walked over to a secluded place. He pulled out his phone and called his mother because she could always calm him down with her kind, caring and warm presence, even if it was only her voice through his cellphone. He rang her twice, but it wasn't picked up. He wasn't surprised knowing that she could be tending to costumers or some other work in their Onsen. He put his phone away sadly.

The Japanese skater looked around the beautifully decorated rink with anxious eyes as he felt an anxiety attack coming on. Luckily it was only just beginning and a small attack so he was able to calm himself down with a couple of deep breaths. Then he walked away from the spot he hide in without looking back so he missed the silver-haired man walking over to the rink after he walked away from it just seconds ago.

Victor Nikiforov looked after the sad person confusedly, but didn't think about it anything, turned around and forgot the incident completely. He looked wistfully at the rink thinking about retiring soon and the emptiness he felt whenever he remembered that he doesn't have anyone other than his coach, a few friends, and his dog poodle Maccachin. He didn't know what he would do once retiring. He wanted to have someone in his life, someone he could take care of. He wanted to start a family, like all the other alphas in his age has. He wanted a mate and children he could come home to. His big apartment amplified his feelings of emptiness and loneliness. He didn't know what he wanted to do about his sport, he loved skating, but felt like he couldn't surprise the audience anymore with anything.

Yuuri walked through the hallways towards his room in the hotel that housed the Grand Prix. It was a magnificent building, with esthetically decorated rooms and halls. Getting back here from the arena was easy because they only had a 7 minute walk apart. The cold Russian winter air helped him calm down even more, the crisp air made his head clear of all the trouble and the residue anxiety he still felt. He never knew that it could be so relaxing to walk in a foreign land on a cold winter day. He always liked the cold because of the calming effect he felt whenever he was surrounded by it, that's why he began skating in the first place. At first he didn't even think about becoming a professional skater, until he won the regional competition that he only competed in after his friend Yuuko talked him into it. That wasn't his first competition, but it had been the first time he went to a regional and won a gold medal. Everyone had been surprised that a no name nobody won it leaving even the silver medallist way behind with the 50 point divergence between their scores. After that he felt like he could actually be a professional skater like his idol. After he got the determination to do it he jumped into work even more so, it had been a great step back when his coach left his home town saying that he didn't see the point in coming there three times every week to train three people when only one of them wanted to be a professional and he didn't believe he would achieve anything.

The Japanese skater had a hard time after that. He concentrated more on ballet, developing a great sense for step sequences, but his jumps became pretty weak with him practicing them on his own without help from someone, who would have been able to tell what he was doing wrong. Every jump he learned since that had been exhausting and painful with him falling so many times he couldn't even count and even after he learned them somehow he still didn't have the right technique. Even though he has a coach now and Ciao Ciao was an understanding, kind man who always cheered him on and helped him a great deal with his choreographs, but he missed solving the biggest problem, which was bad technique. It must have slipped by him with all of his skaters, but it meant that Yuuri was still alone with his technical problems. He always wanted to have a coach again , who would finally help him with his jumps and not just pat him on the back and say it would get better with training. It was frustrating that he saw the problem, but nobody took notice or cared enough about him to help so he worked himself into the ground to get near perfect presentation points so he could pull his overall score up knowing full well that his technical points will hold him back.

The black-haired young man thought back to the knee injury he received on his last training. He was practicing his short program when he flopped one of his triple axels. His skates slipped out of underneath him and he crashed onto the ice with his whole weight and a great deal of speed. His left knee had been hurt because he fell on it directly. It had been a fight to get up again and off the ice with his left leg not supporting his weight, he practically had to crawl off the ice. Luckily the dressing part was easy because his ankle hadn't been hurt so he could take his skates off and pull on his shoes and outer clothing layer so to not catch a cold on the way to the doctor. The emergency doctor, who took a look at him had to ice his knee then they took an x-ray of it. He had a light fracture. Seeing as it couldn't be treated like an arm bones fracture, because a knee can't be immobilised like an arm so he talked his doctor out of placing a cast on it. He promised him to get a knee protector, wear it and not to practice until it's fully healed. He didn't say anything about the Grand Prix Finals he will compete in in two days fearing that he would be pulled out of it.

Yuuri had walked back to his hotel room tiredly. Once inside the warm space he called room service and ordered some light food. He didn't plan to eat much, but he had to have something to show his coach if he asks him about eating. Since his knee injury he barely had any appetite so his intake dropped drastically. He knew it wasn't healthy with his profession, but the pain radiating from his knee bothered him too much to be able to care. He ate something he didn't know the name of. It had been some kind of light soup. It warmed him up and filled his stomach, but didn't make him feel heavy. That night he finally slept more than a couple of hours, but was still tired the next morning.

The next morning he felt anxious again with the competition beginning in the afternoon after the juniors were done with their short programs. Getting ready in the morning became a serious chore what with not wanting to get up knowing that his leg will hurt more after a nights immobilised rest. He knew he should back out of the competition, but after he got into the Grand Prix Finals his social media accounts got flowed with his fans messages stating that they will either watch through TV or coming to the Finals to cheer him on, so he pushed himself forward to not to let them down. Then after this competition he will take a break to heal completely therefor he has to make his announcement in an interview after the Finals and post it on all of his social media. He sighed tiredly while slowly going through morning routine, as he went over everything he needed to do to make sure he didn't injure himself further. Looking over his Short Skate costume he happily realized he will be able to wear his leg supporter under it without anyone the wiser. Eating a small cup of yoghurt with some muesli for breakfast, he washed it down with a glass of orange juice.

Victor Nikiforov was physically shaken awake by his coach Yakov Feltsman, who began to shout with him about not getting up in time on his own. Then his father figure proceeded to pull him off his bed while he clung to his comforter pulling it along. Even though the silver haired man was 26 years old already he was still in some aspects a child and required looking after more often than not. Victor, who has lived under Yakov's roof for many years it was something to expect. The Russian Living Legend in the skating world only just learned how to be independent 6 years ago, but every time they went to a competition he reverted back to how he acted before moving out to his own place. In the beginning it had been hard to live on his own and only having his beloved poodle Maccachin at his side. He learned how to take care of himself and his dog pretty quickly so after the first month he was on the top of his game again about living alone.

The Russian skater stood up from the ground after his coach let him go. He was shooed into the bathroom to get ready for the day. He dragged himself in there still half asleep. Putting his clothes on had been a challenge seeing how he kept his eyes closed. As soon as his clothes were on, his teeth and hair brushed he went back to his coach where he was grabbed by his arm. Yakov pulled him behind himself down to the dining room where the other skaters and coaches were already eating. While he ate he saw from the corner of his eye his coach turn his head around again and again, but judging from the frown staying on his face without any change he knew something was wrong. He looked at the old man questioningly. The weathered man sighed before answering.

"One of the contestants isn't here. I know he is here and didn't back out of the competition because his coach is here eating breakfast."

At this Victor looked around at the familiar faces he saw before and wracked his brain for the name of the missing competitor. He couldn't remember it, but the knowledge that he is a Japanese nationally surfaced from somewhere deep in his mind. He had been immensely surprised when he saw that a Japanese skater made it to the Finals after long years without a Japanese skater getting this far. Everyone had been surprised when the young Asian man stole the gold medal from a seasoned skater, who had been expected to win and get into the Finals. All the other finalists looked around when they arrived to see if they could catch a look at him. Some people like Christophe Giacometti, who had met him before at another competition told the others everything he knew about him. It wasn't much, but certainly more than nothing. As Victor was looking around the others realized something wasn't right. It didn't take long for them to discover the absence of the sixth competitor.

After breakfast and a two hour break where their stomachs calmed down after eating the competitors went over to the nearby arena. They were talking to each other the whole way there and debates about the Japanese skater began after they stepped out of the hotel. Everyone had an opinion about why he hadn't been seen at breakfast and where he was now, but seeing how none of them had any concrete information it was just a guessing game. When they got there they saw to their surprise the missing competitor already there and in the middle of stretching. They watched as the young man went from stretching to doing ballet after deeming his muscles ready for it. He was so deep in concentration that he didn't feel all the eyes on him.

The coaches had to come over to their protégés and drag them away from the practicing young omega. They too saw how graceful his moves were, but their trained eyes saw something that they wouldn't tell their skaters so to not make them do worse unintentionally, but reserved themselves to watch out for the young man's well-being. They could tell just from watching him doing ballet that his left leg was hurt. It only took a little probing to get the other skaters to get on the ice to practice their routines.

Yuuri made sure to prepare for his Short Skate, spending a great deal of time with his left leg's muscles loosening and strengthening to be able to make it through his performance. It was hard to work around his knee injury, but it was something he had to do if he wanted to make sure he didn't hurt himself further because he knew he won't be able to wear his knee supporter for his Free Skate. He knew not to expect better than fourth or fifth place in his current state with him barely being able to walk normally with his supporter. His leg sent out waves of pain periodically when he was resting so he knew it will hurt like hell when he will skate his Short Program. He didn't want to imagine how much it will hurt when he won't be able to wear his supporter while skating his Free Program.

The skaters were understandably confused by the Japanese man's warm up which only consisted of doing rounds around the rink with only a couple of turns here and there. What they didn't, but the coaches, saw was the painful, straight moving of his left leg. The others practiced jumps too making Yuuri gulp in fear. He knew he was taking a great risk with what he was doing, but couldn't make himself to back out with so many of his fans being there rooting for him, he already vowed to himself to do his best for everyone watching him. Even though he didn't have as many fans as the others he knew how many people's lives relied on his success, his parents and sister with their Onsen having bad years for some time now, Yuuko and her family to make more people want to ice skate, the shop selling ice skating related things, and Minako sensei to make ballet more popular. He took it seriously feeling like it was his responsibility to make sure they have income. Sometimes it was hard on him for he sent all his prize money to the people depending on him, most of it went to his family. It was hard on him because he had to take on part-time jobs while he was skating professionally and going through college. He was lucky with Phitchit being understanding and not complaining that he paid for more than half of their living expenses on at least three months per year because those months he had to send home more money and it could only come from the amount he earned at work.

Yuuri shook his head to rid himself of his thoughts about financials, right now he had to concentrate on skating his programs. He wants to do the best he can right now, but he wouldn't fool himself by thinking he has any chance on getting up on the podium. As he pulls himself out of his thoughts completely he realizes how the other skaters and their coaches watch him. His shy persona comes out and he breaks any and all eye contact with the others.

Victor watched the younger skater avidly as he moved around with the grace of a ballet dancer, and the fluidity of a figure skater even though he wasn't doing much of anything. It was rare to see someone in the skating world who took ballet so seriously that it made all of their moves on the ice so graceful that he didn't need to work on making their routines graceful. Most of the skaters thought the bare minimum of ballet would be enough and worked on their grace on the ice every time they learned a new choreography. His eyes followed the black haired man as he left the ice and checked his phone for something only to put it away after most likely not finding what he was looking for.

Yakov who had been looking after Victor was shocked to see him not being able to tear his eyes away from the black haired omega. It was obvious to him that he found the younger man attractive, and when he looked in his eyes he knew his star skater will know everything there is to know about him. He just hoped the omega won't push him away too harshly, or at all, after his skater opened up to him. It wouldn't be the first time for Victor' heart to break because the person he thought loved or at least liked him only tolerated him because he's Russia's number one figure skater. He was always fearing for his skater's heart whenever he had a relationship.

The speakers activated after hours and an announcer asked the seniors to leave the ice so the juniors could practice. Seeing how their competition will be before the seniors it was understandable. Watching the juniors practice was a common for the seniors. They were all aware that those youngsters will be their opponents soon and it was always a good idea to know who they should look out for. The only person who wasn't there to watch was the Japanese man.

Yuuri was behind the arena to get some fresh air and calm down somewhat so his nerves wouldn't get to him. It helped him many times but not all the time. Whenever he was in the middle of an anxiety attack he lost touch with the real world around him and lost himself in his doubts. His family knew this and helped with everything they could like letting him a have a dog. Skating and dancing helped with his anxiety in a way fresh air never could. They gave him something to concentrate on as he practiced for hours without a break every day and even more on those days when he had an anxiety attack. Working the stress out of his body while shutting his brain down and separating himself from his poisoning thoughts. Even though he always had people who helped and supported him, but none of them were really there like he needed. The only person who was always there since knowing of his problem was his best friend Phitchit Chulanunt. The Thai skater got his knowledge accidentally when he walked in on him having an attack in their apartment. The younger male had been frantic when he saw his friend fighting to be able to breathe. He laid his friend on the ground and helped straighten his airway out. It took Yuuri long, tiring minutes to calm down and get his breath back to normal. After it was over the Thai boy questioned him about it and he spilled everything. Since then he never had to endure an attack on his own when he was in Detroit. Phitchit had been really considerate with him never letting him out of his sight for too long for fear that the Japanese male will have another attack without anyone there to help him.

Yuuri pulled out his phone from his pocket, ringing his best friend. He needed help to calm down and knowing his friend won't turn him down.

"Hello?" asked a sleepy voice from the other side after it was picked up.

"Phitchit." breathed the Japanese skater. He heard rustling from the other side of the line then his friend began to talk about anything and everything not related to the competition. Slowly his breathing went back to normal. "Thanks." whispered Yuuri.

"You're welcome!" exclaimed the energetic male as if he hadn't been just woken up from his sleep just a couple of minutes ago. "Do you need help with anything else?" The black haired young man ended the call after giving a negative answer. He still felt anxious, but nowhere near the level he had been just a little while ago.

The brown eyed skater walked back inside with his goal in mind. As he was walking through the hall he encountered a small group of his fans. They wanted to talk with him, asked for autographs and pictures. He complied. Posing for dozens of pictures, signing anything they wanted and all the while talking with them. He was still shocked that he had so many fans, but was over the moon when he met with his six years old fan. The little boy had been taking skating lessons since he saw him on the exhibition he promoted with skating a new program there for the guests who had been there. It had been made to raise money for a shelter. He took multiple pictures with the little boy prompting the child to smile with his kind, understanding supportive behaviour. He wasn't aware of how much time he spent with them until a coordinator walked up to him to tell him he had to go to the rink for his warm up because the juniors Short Skates are over, meaning that the seniors Short Skates will soon begin. He bid his fans goodbye and walked back to the rink for this warm up.

Christophe Giacometti was talking with Victor Nikiforov. He was surprised when his friend asked about the Japanese skater. He never thought that the Russian skater will ever notice the shy man until he got at least once on the podium with him so he was pleasantly surprised when he asked about him. When asked why he was so interested in him the silver haired man's answer shocked him, he knew the brown eyed man was really artistic when it came to moving around on the ice, but what Victor said he never thought of, but he had to give it to him that he was right. He told the older skater everything he knew about Katsuki. What he knew was pretty simple and barely anything.

"He's shy, barely talks to anyone other than his coach, fans and loved ones, but you can only understand him when he talks to his coach and a couple of friends he has in Detroit because they are the only ones depending on English to communicate. If you see him talking to someone on the phone don't be surprised if you don't understand him because he mostly talks in his mother language with his family or his ballet teacher. Before competition he seems standoffish, but it's just his way of dealing with the competition. I think."

Victor nodded thoughtfully. The younger male seemed to become more interesting with his mysteriousness. He had already gathered all the information the people there could give him. Now that he had everything they knew he was still not satisfied. He didn't know anything significant about the pretty omega. He willed himself to take his friends advice to heart and not to go over to the younger man until the competition was over, but there was nothing against watching him from afar.

The two alphas watched as the omega came back to the rink after the coordinator that walked away from the rink not too long ago. He seemed calmer than the last time they saw him. It was clear that something happened while he was away.

Yuuri didn't get back on the ice to practice like the others he rather spent that time with making sure his muscles were still in top condition to help him through his Short Skate. After the warm up time was up and the skaters were all in their performance clothes the first senior was called onto the ice which happened to be the Japanese omega.

Yuuri stood in the middle of the rink in his first position waiting for the music. At the first strums of guitar he kicked himself off. He felt his face contort in pain after the first move of his left leg. The pain began to increase with every step. It was a fight, but he didn't show his pain to the audience and went as if nothing happened with the same grace he always skates with. He wouldn't get too good scores for his technical skills, but that was the least of his problems. As he went into the first jump he left it as it was before and did a triple axel only to feel like someone just dropped a brick on his knee. He wobbled dangerously and in that moment he chose to reduce the difficulty of his skate. Triples became doubles, and doubles turned into singles.

Victor Nikiforov watched confusedly as the skater nearly fell after his triple axel. His confusion grew as the following jumps were only doubles at the most. It could have been better had the Japanese skater hadn't reduced the difficulty. He watched the performance and was shocked how much he liked this easy program. It was as if the young man's grace pulled him and the audience in for the entirety of it. When the black haired male stepped off the ice there was a slight limp to his steps. His brows furrowed at the sight. There was only two possibilities he hurt his leg while skating his program or what he thought was more likely that he hurt his leg before the Finals.

Yuuri went over to the Kiss and Cry with his coach and sat to wait for his scores. Celestino was trying to get to know why he reduced the difficulty of his program, but the he was tight lipped knowing full well that he would be pulled out if his coach knew he was hurt. The scores appeared on the board and the young omega was surprised. His score was way higher than he thought it will be. It turned out that he broke the world record of highest Short Skate presentation points and all those point s pulled him up. His score wasn't that high, but showed how great he was when it came to presenting a routine. After he was done he went to the bleachers and watched all his competitors before going back to his hotel room with his coach hot on his heel so as to not lose sight of him again. Once the omega was safely back in his room the Italian man left him to rest for the continuation tomorrow.

Once Yuuri was on his own in his room he called his mother again, but she still didn't pick it up. Not too long after he ended the call his ballet teacher ringed him.

"Moshi moshi Minaki sensei." greeted the young man happily only for it to disappear when his instructor opened her mouth.

"Yuuri we need to talk!" came the grim answer.

"What happened?" asked Yuuri anxiously as he felt his stomach cramping with fear.

"Yuuri. I don't know how to tell you, but…. you see…." Minako let out a sigh then pulled herself together ang just blurted it everything out in one breathe. "Yuuri, your family is dead. They were on their way back to the Onsen when a drunk driver crashed into them frontally. There weren't any survivors." here the ballet teacher stopped not wanting to drop the bomb on him even though she knew she has to so before the skater could speak she said the rest. "And we can't find Vicchan."

Yuuri felt as if a world fell apart in him when he heard the news. He lost his family and most likely his dog too. It felt like having the ground suddenly disappearing from under your feet leaving you to fall down.


	2. Chapter 2

Yuuri felt his fingers around the device go numb while soft tremors began to make their way through his body. It was as if the world suddenly chose to turn on its axis to turn the other way from then on. He had never imagined he would lose his family and certainly not like this. Losing everyone at once was a kick to the gut. He could comprehend the words coming from his ballet teacher, but there was a small spark of hope of still having someone. "Minako Sensei. Where's Vicchan?"

The other side went silent as the woman was faced with the heartbroken whisper of her pupil. She couldn't tell him a lie even if it would help him now it would break him further afterwards so with a heavy heart she answered truthfully. "We don't know." sighed the dancer. "We haven't seen her in a while." The dark haired skater felt himself lose what little hope he had even though the answer hadn't been a real negative one he couldn't hope. His mind went blank and his fingers ended the call then switched the phone off. Looking towards his suitcase where he knew his ticket to Japan lay in a pocket safe from everything his eyes filled with tears. He had planned to go back home for some time, he hadn't told anyone about it meaning to surprise his loved ones. Not seeing his family daily had taken its tool on him, but fought on every day not letting it beat him for he didn't want to lay down in the face of problems. Though his couch and teammates were helping as much as they could it wasn't enough. Phitchit helped the most, but even that was barely anything in the face of his homesickness and anxiety. It got to the point where the only things keeping him moving forward were the daily skype calls from his family and constant practice which led to his injury, but that was beside the point in his mind. Without skating and dancing he would have succumbed to depression a long time ago. The Japanese skater didn't feel the tremors running through his body or the tears tracking down his face as his mind couldn't move forward from the news. He wasn't aware of crying for hours nor was he able to feel when he slipped into a deep dreamless sleep right there on the floor of his hotel room in a sitting fetal position.

Morning came in the early hours the next day bathing the city in the soft glow of the morning sunlight marking the new day. The contestants of the figure skating event woke up early and fresh ready for the new day ahead of them, all but one. Yuuri Katsuki came to slowly with his mind muddled. Mechanically raising from the floor and going through his morning routine. He couldn't… no wouldn't accept his family's passing. He had worked for them for so long they can't just up and leave him on his own now when he needed them the most. It must have been a trick of his tired mind surely that is what it was he just has to call Minako and she will tell him what a moron he was to think his parents and sister died. Nodding to himself he turned his phone on and dialled her number. It rang only twice before she picked up, but before he could open his mouth to ask something from her she began a long never ending apologies for telling him the terrible news yesterday in such a bland and hurtful way and constantly apologising for not being more considerate. The young man only picked up two things from the ramble first it hadn't been something his mind conjured up it is real and second his beloved dog is still missing. Needing something to focus on he decided he rather lose himself in depression if it breaks than be depressed when he gets Vicchan back if she still alive. "Sensei!" uttered the brown eyed man feeling his eyes fill up with moisture and successfully silencing Minako. "Vicchan has a couple of hiding spots throughout Hasetsu. I can give you the whole list right now. Can you write it down?" after some rustling came the reply from his teacher to list it. It took some time for his beloved poodle had quit a few hiding places. The last one on the list had been his room. "We already checked your room." answered Minako. "No you didn't. At least not the right way. Vicchan likes to hide in various places in my room. Basically anywhere she can fit in is a hiding place for her there." there was stunned silence on the other side meaning they hadn't known that. "We will begin right away. You just skate to your own best in this situation." were Minako's parting words.

Yuuri looked around his room. He didn't know what to do. Feeling empty in a way he hadn't a long time and not to this extent was scary, but not enough to penetrate the emptiness in him. Leaving his room behind he went into the city to pass the time. He had only pulled on his training clothes and team Japan jacket before he left with his phone and wallet in his pockets listening to his favourite tunes while walking aimlessly. Walking by his fellow skaters silently without any form of recognition as he was deep into his music he didn't realize the looks he got. They were full of concern for him. The black haired man left the hotel behind not even looking back his thoughts far away from him. Walking was usually a good way to clear his mind. Though it seemed to not be the case today. No matter where he went, how long he walked he couldn't pull himself from the black inky emptiness that was taking hold of him.

Victor Nikiforov was getting ready for his last minute morning practice along with the other skaters who had clawed their way into the finals. It was always a big deal when the Grand Prix Finals were there seeing the new and old faces made it almost worth all the work, but now even that couldn't make him forget missing what the others had, a solid relationship with someone he loves. Don't get him wrong he loves Maccachin, but he wants a family of his own, one he could protect and nourish with all he got. He wanted to have someone to wake up next to, someone he could pull close to feel their body, warmth, breath, and most importantly their heartbeat. It was lonely as well as cold with only his beloved poodle in his enormous apartment.

The Russian star skater's best friend understood it to a certain extent, but not well enough to really help because he had his own boyfriend back at home. Sometimes it felt like drowning with many people around and nobody noticing.

This morning the silver haired man was looking forward to see every one's free skates. They always gave him ideas and when he was lucky they even gave him inspiration to go on. Though that hadn't happened in quit a while he still hoped it will happen next time only to be disappointed.

After the skaters ate their breakfast they were herded towards the hotel lobby to get back to their rooms and gather their things for the competition. As they were walking towards the elevators the Japanese skater walked by without acknowledging anyone. His face was void of any kind of emotion, but what shocked them the most were his lifeless, empty eyes. The finalists looked after him with concern as he went by because it was clear he hadn't realized they were there for they had known him to be a polite young man who would always greet everyone.

The skating champion felt as if someone had kicked him in the gut full force for the expression on the younger skater's face was how he felt like more and more in the safety of his mind and only showed his beloved dog this feeling with behaviour and facial expression. He never thought he will see this kind of emotion mask the face of such a young man at the beginning of his real senior career as a figure skater. He had seen many people come and go since he began, but this man had so much before him and it looked like he wouldn't be able to get to have everything he was capable of if his current state is anything to go by. This thought solidified his resolve and the Living Legend turned around to reach out towards the younger verbally and if he let him emotionally and physically, but by the time he got to that point the man was nowhere to be found making Victor deflate. He had felt some kind of kinship for the black haired omega. Being an alpha had always been looked on as something that would be the best thing to be. Victor knew it isn't like that. Being an alpha is only good if you have a significant other you could take care of otherwise you feel miserable every waking moment of your life when you can't physically tire yourself. He had been acting like a playboy for so long no one thought he was capable of a serious relationship. What they all forgot was that he was an alpha before anything else and it had its perks, one of them was that he was able to tell who has real feelings for him and who comes to him for money and fame, most came to him with the intentions of the latter. Because of that he developed the defence mechanism of acting like a playboy. He looked after the sad omega wistfully, but having lost sight of him he went up to his room packing his bag for the competition.

Katsuki Yuuri walked around aimlessly. He didn't know where he was or where he was going neither did he know which way he turned the last time. Being unfamiliar with the city it wasn't a wise choice to get lost, but he couldn't help himself. Losing his family was a blow he never thought he will have to endure guess he had been wrong. He thought he will begin to cry soon, but he didn't have tears only an all-encompassing emptiness which made him long to feel something, anything. Since he had gave Minako the list he hadn't heard from them. He was desperately clinging to that last thread of hope he had that at least his beloved poodle is still alive for if she isn't he didn't know what he will do.

The first claws of depression were beginning to get a hold of him without him noticing. He had always been prone to depressive thoughts he got better after he got his dog for she always looked at him with the same unconditional love and prompted him to be more active even when he felt like he didn't have any energy. She was the epitome of kindness and it helped Yuuri accept himself and his flaws. No one had been able to get him to do that before her so his family welcomed the small pup with open arms and hearts. Vicchan had always been the happy go lucky type of personality which moved Yuuri out of his comfort zone for he had to take her on exciting walks and lessons for she was a really bright little dog too. He had to constantly train her to keep her mind occupied so she wouldn't chew on things in the Onsen. He had to teach her many things and take her on daily walks and jogs to reduce her energies to a manageable amount with which she could sleep and rest with him at the end of the day. She had been the best dog Yuuri could have asked for he had so many responsibilities with her he had no time to feel depressed or let the bullying get to him.

It had been hard leaving Vicchan behind in his family home while he went overseas to learn and work for his dreams. She had been an essential part of his life. So much so that he had nearly fell into depression after getting to Detroit because without his dog most of his day became empty. He hadn't realized how much time he invested in his dog on a daily basis before he left her behind and then it was too late to rewrite his contract. He tried to get it rewritten, but no one wanted to do that for him at the school other than his coach and rink mates who saw what it was doing to him. They helped him with everything though in the end it did not matter for they weren't able to change anything. He was grateful for their efforts and thanked them for their help.

As the young man walked fond memories about his family resurfaced in his mind like his mother's cooking, warm smiles and soft embraces, his father's silent, solid presence which radiated safety, and his sister's reliability and understanding, It was hard knowing he wouldn't see any of them anymore, won't hear their voices or be able to embrace them. He hadn't been able to go home for years now seeing how his earnings kept them financially afloat. He had no money to go home for some time even though he wanted to.

The black haired omega had somehow gotten back to his hotel and up to his room. He didn't know how and didn't really care to know. He sat down on his bed gazing unseeingly before himself. ' _Did they suffer? Was I good son? A good brother? Were they angry with me for not coming home even once since I left for collage or for not really having real conversations with them? Was annoying them with my constant need of calming via skype? Was it mean from me to ask about Vicchan first and only remembering to ask them how they are after I heard a lengthy description about her? Were they proud of me? Didn't my selfishness cause them problems? I mean they had to work hard all their lives and I took an opportunity to leave my loving home behind so easily and fast. I must have angered and annoyed them, but they most likely didn't want to tell me so as to not to make me give up. I'm such a disappointment of a son… and a brother. I should have been the one to die not them._ '

Yuuri was so deep in his negative thoughts he didn't realize his coach had come in after he hadn't reacted to him knocking. His coach's voice filtered through his brain slowly so when he reacted to the greeting he received Celestino was looking at him in concern. The Italian man walked up to the sitting skater and put his hands on his shoulders feeling the comforting mass of lean muscles under the palms of his hands.

"Are you alright?" asked the long haired man seriously. He was concerned for his pupil. There were days where he was quit depressed and nothing could make him get out of that mind-set other than talking to his dog, not even his family could pull him out of it though not for not trying enough. They too tried at the rink, but neither of them had any luck, they were even less fortunate in their attempts than his family and that's saying something for they could only get him to take care of basic needs with constant prompting. That is why he had fought to this to get the school change their minds about the Japanese skater's dog, but they didn't believe them for those who haven't seen him in that state it was hard to believe he could get to be that un functional and they weren't inclined to come and see him when he was like that or any other time at all. He had tried to get him to see a therapist and he had went to the first meeting only for the therapist to tell him he couldn't help for the young man wouldn't say anything to him because he didn't trust him and even when he was talking he used his mother language or mixed together multiple languages to the point of no understanding. The only thing he had been able to tell him was that the most chance to pull him out of this was by getting his dog to live there with him. To this day he hadn't been able to change it so he had to fight every day to keep his skater functioning.

Yuuri gazed at his coach uncomprehendingly. He knew who he saw, but his brain had a hard making connections. At the moment he couldn't piece together what he heard very easily and it showed in the way his gaze rested on Ciao Ciao for one long minute while his jumbled mind worked on righting itself to the best of its capabilities. In the end he nodded softly then shook his head in a fast manner then after that he only shrugged his shoulders. He couldn't pinpoint what exactly he felt at the moment.

Feeling his pupil's need for a calming order right now he packed the boy's things up in his duffel bag. It had been mostly packed up, but he didn't think the Japanese skater would have been able to remember to bring everything he will need to the arena. Linking his arm through the young man's he lead him out of the room. Going down with the elevator, through the lobby and across the streets to the arena not once letting the young man go. There had been times like this but never to this extent. He knew for a fact that they won't get good points, most likely land in the last spot after the free skate. He had seen the black haired omega skate his free skate so good that he had gotten winning scores on them more than once in competitions. It will be a blow to him.


End file.
